We all believed some pretty silly things when we were younger. Here are some of mine:
- Clouds are made in power plants.
2. Tampons are an internal sort of nappy alternative. You stick them in your bum to plug up the poo. When you pull it out, all the poo comes rushing out. Perfect.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who thought this! Probably because they never actually showed what a tampon is for on any of the Tampax commercials. It’s always just this lady being draped in turquoise sheets holding a tampon in her hand. It’s very confusing.
3. If you smoke you’re going to die.
I remember very clearly seeing my friends mother smoking and being completely convinced that she was now going to die a horrible stinking death and her child would grow up an orphan.
4. Watching too much TV makes your eyes go square.
I LOVED watching TV as a kid. I watched everything. I used to get up at the crack of dawn every Sunday to watch cartoons. I now hate TV but that’s probably because it’s a load of shite now.
5. The mother chicken lays an egg and the rooster then sits on the egg and has sex with it. His rooster willy shags the egg and fertilizes it. That’s how chicks are made.
**I couldn’t be bothered to illustrate this one but that’s ok because I’m my own boss and my boss said it was ok**
6. White cows make milk. Brown cows make chocolate milk.
7. To make babies the man has to pee in the woman.
8. When my older sister dies I get to have her room. She’s 18 months older than me. Therefore she will die 18 months before me. So for 18 glorious months I could live in her room, sleep in her bunk bed, play with her doll house, wear her clothes etc. Awesome.
**Oh wait I didn’t illustrate this one either**
9. If you lick your elbow you turn into a boy and vice versa.
10. If you need a poo and you don’t go right away, the poo crawls back into your body and mummifies into a hard petrified rock and doctors have to chisel it loose to get it out.
3 thoughts on “10 Stupid Things I believed as a Kid”
Lmao! Brilliant! I remember when I was a kid and at a sleepover, my friends would get really upset if you had stepped over them, since it would stunt their growth for ever. Also, when I was a boy, a girl had seen me pee and was convinced that a penis must be squeezed in order for the pee to escape.
welcome back. i missed you. keep your humor coming. it’s good for me to laugh.