1. Pee in the shower/bath/pool.
As if I would schlepp all the way to the toilet when I can just pee in this beautiful porcelain womb. If it’s good enough for a fetus, then it’s good enough for me.
2. Steal towels from Hotels.
Ok, I know stealing is wrong and I swear I don’t usually do it but somehow when I’m forking out a small fortune for a hotel room I feel somewhat entitled to take a towel or two or four.
3. Fart on a long-haul flight.
I am pretty certain I’m not the only one guilty of this. Initially I’m always a bit reluctant. Then after five hours of my zipper digging into my swollen gut, I weigh up the pros and cons, and after much internal debate, I finally give in and gather up the courage (and gas) to quietly sneak out a little toot. I did this once just as the stewardess leaned down to ask whether I wanted chicken or beef.
4. Engage in some very secret hair removal.
Unless you’re a baby mouse (in which case, how are you reading this blog?), you’re gonna have some hair in places where it don’t belong. We all like to pretend we are perfect hairless showgirls but the sad reality is that we all remove hair from some very dark places. Any hair that ain’t paying rent has to go!
5. Google yourself.
Sometimes when I’ve been on the internet for like 10 hours straight I think to myself “I have now seen ALL the internet” and I get really bored and wonder what else there is to do. It is usually at this point that I google myself. Turns out there are A LOT of North Korean men named Sina.
6. Look at our poop.
Ok, this one really separates the men from the boys. We all perform the obligatory post-poop inspection yet we would never admit to this. Until now.
7. Forget how to walk up the stairs.
Well this is strange, I seem to have forgotten how to do this thing I learned as a toddler. It’s like my brain only has so much space and when it’s full, it throws out information it thinks I don’t need anymore, like the ability to walk up stairs.
Brain: “Oh well, she hasn’t had to do this in a long time, best we remove it and make room for the lyrics to Ice Ice Baby”
dammitdarling.com 
Made my night:)
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Haha! Grazie bella 🙂
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Loved it. The honest approach to silly things most of us have done was as refreshing as it was entertaining 🙂 Check out our blog for all manner of ridiculous stories, information, and observations. Plus crabs, hippocampuses, chupacabre, and other tom foolery!
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Shameless self promotion! I like it 🙂 And you I like too
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Excellent! I love to be liked. Be sure to check brownandwooden.wordpress.com often and read through our articles. We will be posting a new one tomorrow explaining (perhaps) the recent drop in gasoline prices! Thanks for the response!
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I will set a reminder to ensure I don’t miss it. Also, you have a new follower. I know, I know. I spoil you.
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Awesome! Thanks for the follow! We will speak in this awkward comment box again soon!
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Yeah i’m ridiculous, and I have nothing to lose, so I plug our blog as much as I can. No one on wordpress knows who I really am so as Todd Fisk I can be as shameless as I want!
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But I did most sincerely enjoy this post 🙂
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Funny, but since I’ve been running, there have been times when I have suddenly forgotten how to walk DOWN stairs. Even more dangerous than going up, I think.
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Definitely more dangerous. Maybe we should just slide down the banister instead?
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Oh yeah amd your illustrations are badass too 🙂
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thanks for bringing yet another bit of humor to y word.
hey, it’s actually healthy to look at your poop. it helps to know that, er, everything came out okay. i say, “look away after brims away!”
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My thoughts exactly!
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er! i hate when my keys move around on me! some people call it a feature! i meant _bombs_ away.
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Your use of Microsoft Paint is magical. It’s what really sets your blog apart from others. Just… Divine.
Love,
Another fan of the Lost Art Of Microsoft Paint
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Haha! Thank you, thank you!
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Um, how to say this without crossing a line? In your photo, the hair on your head looks lush and lustrous.
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Why thank you! Lush and lustrous it is 🙂 anything else?
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Yeah, don’t shave that part. (just sayin’)
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That’s how we roll in Europe 🙂
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Lol…brilliant list! By the way re: body hair, have you seen the trend to dye arm pit hair? I feel like we’ve already talked about this…deja vu…creepy…anyway…if I had the choice of any colour I would choose turquoise pit hair or like a soft, romantic pink. Un abrazo fuerte, amiga 🙂
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haha!! Hilarious!
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I can honestly say that I don’t pee in my shower or pool. I’ll plead the 5th on the remaining items.
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