How you know you have Depression

Just in case you weren’t sure…

1. You can no longer concentrate on anything.

2. There is a heaviness in your heart that no amount of nutella, pedicures, sushi or shopping can fix.


3. Your memory has gone to shit. You visit old friends and even though you’ve been to their house 100 times you can’t remember which house it is.

4. You are beyond irritable and you want to punch everyone. If it has a pulse…. it’s getting punched.

5. A small grievance like not finding a parking spot sends you into a spiral of despair.

6. The thought of spending your weekend anywhere else but in bed seems utterly ridiculous.

7. Going out with friends would involve having to get up, shower and get dressed. Not possible.


8. When you do eventually venture outside, you try really hard to act ‘normal’.


9. Staying at home is easier. Social interaction is overrated.


10. You vaguely remember enjoying sex once upon a time but now the thought of it just makes you tired.

11. When you’re supposed to sleep you can’t. But when you’re sitting in a meeting you can.

12.  Exercise would probably help if you weren’t so damn tired.

13. They ran out of your favorite frozen pizza/ice cream/rye bread at the shops. And now you want to die.


14. You distance yourself from social media. Seeing all those smiley, happy people living their perfect lives makes you sad and bitter.


15. Everyone. And. Everything. Annoys. You. The work elevator taking an extra 20 seconds to descend nearly sends you on a rampage across the office.


16. Even watching your favorite series in bed doesn’t seem to cheer you up.


17. You just can’t. be. bothered.


18. Your life is one long sigh.


19. Everything is one big problem and you’ve lost your ability to problem solve.

20. You convince yourself you have lung cancer cos you just can’t breathe anymore.


21. You start to think about sad things to justify feeling sad like, poor african orphans, the fact that your mum is probably gonna die one day and dead kittens.

22. The smallest and most ridiculous things make you wanna cry. The smell of grass reminds you of a childhood long gone and the smell of coffee reminds you that the weekend is still 5 DAYS AWAY!!!!

23. You start to seriously consider ending your life because living like this for another 60 years is just too much to handle.

24. Catching Ebola doesn’t seem so scary anymore. You’re ready to die.


25. You secretly hope you get hit by a car so you can finally get some peace and quiet around here.


26. You stop caring about your physical appearance. “You want me to spend 20 minutes a day applying make-up only to wash it all off again after 8 hours? You want me to do this AGAIN tomorrow?? and then every day till the day I die??!!”


27. You have this chronic, murmuring headache that never goes away.


28. The simplest tasks seem to take FOREVER.

29. You just feel really weird. Like you’re in a bubble.


30. You wonder if it’ll ever get better.


But it does…. 🙂


5 thoughts on “How you know you have Depression

  1. for me

    31. my sense of humor goes to hell in a hand bracket. even if the most perfect joke of all times has been perfectly set up for me, i can’t get out the punch line if my life depended on it.well, i could in three days. delayed reaction and all.

    I like 3. for me it’s i can’t remember the thing i told myself not to forget…thirty seconds ago.

    and 10, and your spouse wonders why you don’t want to have sex with them.

    number 14, that explains your absence from blogging. again, welcome back.

    number 26, myself, don’t kill me, but i don’t have the makeup thing to worry about. you could always go to sleep with the makeup on. just think of it; you’ll save 15 minutes the next morning since you already have your makeup on! :^)

    returning >>hugs<<. it looks like you could need one.


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